These are notes from my readings on October 5^th, 2024, from 2 books: “Destroying the spirit of rejection: receiving love and acceptance and finding healing” and “The Gift of Rejection.” These pieces of work in combination with life skills, counseling, and study has hit upon a chord in my soul.

The hijacking

Seeing rejection as a gift is something that I have just recently learned, and it makes sense to me. In the garden, we rejected God by choosing to follow Satan in his lies. As we walked in the garden with God, we grew in friendship with Him. Our minds, hearts, and spirits were in one accord, and we were in daily communion with our creator. Imago Dei was not yet fractured, and our identity was found solely in sonship. After, Adam and Eve’s rejection of God, God, in turn, rejected them and we received the original sin of rejection. As I look at this scene in the garden it’s as if our spirit was ruptured and rejection took residence deep inside of us. It gives us an internal drive, an internal passion to be loved and accepted by something bigger than us. Rejection is a gift that will leave us searching our entire life, looking to receive ultimate love and acceptance from God as we repent, commit our lives to Him, receive his Holy Spirit to repair the ‘rupture’ in our spirit.

Certainly, we have seen our world today; rejected searching people who do not receive this satisfying love from God will attach and connect to something bigger than themselves to fill this void. They find mother earth, they find a mystic religion, they find work, all sorts of things. Pornography, gambling, addictions--each one of these vices try to numb the pain, but it is a false feeling of calm. It is a false concept that neither heals nor satisfies the gift of rejection that God gave us in the garden of Eden.

God created in us a desire to love and to be loved. We need that love from our families and from others, but we especially need the love of God. If we do not accept this love we feel and experience rejection, which often manifests itself as either fear or pride. These are the two strongest manifestations of rejection.

Fear says “I can no longer trust anyone. I have been hurt too badly, so I am afraid of commitment and close relationships. I will continue to try but all close relationships or commitments will ultimately fail because I am not good enough.”

Pride says “I can do it better on my own. Everyone has hurt me and because of that I do not need anyone in my life. I don't need help. I can make it my own way.” This can manifest in a person who is ostentatious, boastful, driven by power and control. It is a mechanism to hide the rejection they carry in their spirit.

Rejection is one of the most common demons we deal with. It is the basis of double mindedness. Rejection opens the door for rebellion within an individual and suppresses their true personality. Therefore, a stable identity is never fully developed. The person grows up double minded with rejection as an inward personality and rebellion as an outward personality. Certainly, in this piece, we are rejected early in our life during the time that we have the inability to think abstractly. We do not have the neural chemicals of dopamine, serotonin, or norepinephrine in sufficient quantities to think abstractly. If we are in an environment that is void of stability and safety or an absence of faith, rejection and rebellion take up residence.

Satan can capitalize on this gift of rejection and use it as a tool to destroy us. We develop an outer shield to protect the shame that we have in our heart from rejection. We do not see it as a gift, as an internal “magnet” leading us to our Creator.

The reparation

The work I do with broken individuals who suffer from rejection versus receiving it as a gift is complex. In my own story, I knew about Jesus my entire life. I thought that since I was baptized as an infant and confessed that Jesus was the Son of God, that I was saved. However, through conversations with friends and mentors I began to see the inner work that I was leaving untouched by settling for this cheap grace and consumerism Christianity.

As I began to grow in my faith and devote myself to a true relationship with Jesus, I realized that this commitment was a daily surrendering to the work of the Holy Spirit within me to renew my mind. Moment by moment I began to see the strongholds and invite the Holy Spirit into them to undo the lies and replace them with truth. These lies were driving my behavior and thoughts, but I began to see change from the inside out as I committed myself to this work.

^“Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12: 2

“Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling” Philippians 2:12

We have all been wounded, deeply wounded by rejection. My story at this point was in a home with a father and a mother who “practiced” religion but did not understand what I do now. They were alcoholics and abusive to each other. They were also abusive to me and my brothers. We pick up rejections and they hurt. When we have rejection, it is hard to understand how being overlooked, disinvited, abandoned, or discarded could be a good thing. Note: while the act of rejection isn't a gift, what it can teach you about yourself and others is a gift. No matter how many positive affirmations you know and no matter how many scriptures you have memorized, rejection hurts. But the pain is only the wrapping paper. The gift is on the inside. When I feel rejection, if I cognitively reframe that and realize that the enemy is hijacking the gift of rejection for the devil's purposes, I can begin to process the pain and overcome the stronghold. I am so grateful for a vibrant and active relationship with the Holy Spirit as a guide and a teacher that I can engage with to give him that pain of rejection and receive his truth and receive true healing in exchange.

“Rejection is the dull blade that has shaped my character throughout the years. If I knew then what I know now, I could have saved weeks, months, and years of residual heartbreak.

What I know now and what I am learning about the gift of rejection sends me on a journey; a journey to look at the rejections I have accumulated in my life since birth. These experiences impact me personally, romantically, and professionally. They are the underpinnings in our developmental time that drive our adult decisions, behavior, desires, passions etc.

I have discovered that no matter who walks away from you, overlooks you, or doesn't want you around, you have the power to harness your pain to propel your purpose. The purpose that God has put you on the planet for, the giftings that He gave you can be honed by the guidance of his Holy Spirit to accomplish all that you were designed to accomplish on this side of heaven

“The enemy has come only to kill steal and destroy; I have come that you might have life and live it to the full.” John 10:10

We can only live life to the full as Jesus said, by understanding that even with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, we all deal with rejection and that true spiritual formation is found in the tension of the semi colon in John 10:10. May we learn to engage with the Holy Spirit, by taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ , seeking and asking the Holy Spirit for healing. Would His presence guide us on this journey.